Listening for the moment that matters

I learned a word recently that stopped me in my tracks: cathexis.

It’s the moment when someone lights up talking about something they care about—the shift in energy, the spark.

Once you notice it, you start to see it everywhere.

In leadership conversations, when someone moves beyond talking points into something real.
In team discussions, when the energy shifts and people lean in.
In interviews, when an answer goes off-script—and becomes more honest.

That moment matters more than we often realize.

Because in communications, we spend a lot of time crafting the message—refining language, aligning stakeholders, polishing delivery.

But the most important work often happens earlier.

It happens in listening.

Not just for facts or approvals—but for energy. For what someone returns to. For what they can’t quite let go of. For the thing that feels just a little more alive than the rest.

That’s where the signal is.
That’s where the real story lives.

When I work with leaders and organizations, I’m not just listening for what they want to say—I’m listening for what matters, sometimes before it’s fully articulated.

Because when you find that thread—the point of genuine investment or belief—you have something to build on.

A message grounded in that kind of clarity doesn’t feel manufactured. It resonates, because it’s anchored in something real.

And from there, communication becomes simpler—not because the situation is simple, but because you’re focused on what matters most.

In complex organizations, that’s the difference between communication that informs and communication that connects.

So a question I come back to often is:

Where is the energy?

Start there.

Because when you listen for the moment that matters, you don’t just find better messages—you find meaning.

And that’s where effective communication begins.